'Intentionality'

Lately I have been thinking about intentionality. Webster's New World Dictionary defines the word intention as: "determined to act in a specified way; anything done with purpose". Intention is something that can be hard to hold onto- to keep the determination we often start out with and continue to follow along the pursuit and passion associated with that intention or purpose.

I feel as if I have been encountering this concept in several parts of my life. Relationships are something that I am constantly striving to be intentional about- and this can be difficult. Being in college means that the relationships that used to surround you are suddenly long-distance, and that can be a barrier to connecting and continuing to grow as friends. I have learned a lot about what this looks like, what disillusions have been dispelled, and how you can still be very close to someone without necessarily seeing their beautiful friendly face every day of your life.

I have been challenged to consistently be intentional about investing and becoming rooted in the area God has planted me for this season of my life. This has proved to be quite a difficult feat- to invest in those around me in a positive and authentic way. I have learned not to despise "weak" connections with others- to allow grace and space for these relationships to blossom more fully in the future. I have learned that sometimes, others won't take the first step or respond unless you do, first. But just because they do not does not mean they don't want to be your friend. Sometimes, you have to be the one who smiles first, the one who says 'hi', the one who acknowledges something. And that's all part of maturity and just plain being brave.

I have also been thinking about intentionality in a more abstract way- in terms of gaining a vision of what it looks like to intentionally but not naively commit to the Body of Christ- the Body of believers. I have been confronted with the imperfections not only of myself as a Christian, but the flaws and sometimes undefined faults of the Christian community. I find myself dually amazed at Christ's unwavering love, grace, and commitment to such a broken community who so often fails- but also challenged to love my brothers and sisters and not to "check out". From someone who loves being in true fellowship and authentic Christian atmosphere/community, I found myself disappointed and disillusioned with a Christian community that did not meet my idealistic expectations. Again, as my dad so wisely quips (and often quips) "Every expectation is a future resentment". Yup. Daddy, you are so right.

What do we do with these moments? God has really shown me that I tend to withdraw myself when conflict arises, instead of engaging in a truthful and yet graceful way. Not that I am by any means the solution or the savior for these situations, but I know that God calls me to a change agent in my attitude towards this community and also that He desires for me to not check out so my gifts and abilities can best be used for His glory alone. A city on a hill. A lamp on a stand- not under a basket.

Withdrawing can be comfortable. It allows you to not be associated with problems, to not be grouped in with the issue at hand. It is easy to withdraw- it is a quick emergency exit. Yet I know that God does not desire for us to ignore problems or disengage- but to engage in perhaps a stretching way but in an honest one. For us to be honest with ourselves and with each other- that is ministering and also living by the fruits of the Spirit.

I am continually grateful for the grace of God in my life- personally, relationally, and corporately.

Striving to be intentional through His grace.