Contentment

I am learning contentment. This post will likely not be as eloquent, but this is something I sense God teaching me as of late. For whatever reason, I have not yet "found" my social hang-out group at college- which has proved to be frustrating and difficult. Yet God has recently given me perspective on this. Not having a group to default to has accomplished two things for me. First, I have been able to invest in several closer friendships that have been permanent fixations in my life, providing stability and the depth/intimacy I crave in friendships. These friendships have also been with friends that I connect with on a spiritual level, and have been friends who hold me accountable to my faith in Christ, remind me of God's love and grace, and love on me unconditionally through the hyper times, the sleep-deprived times, the "morning hair/eyes/voice" times (I am definitely a night owl), and bawling-my-eyes-out times. I have seen those relationships deepen, especially over the past month or two. God has been so good- to provide deep friendships like that so immediately.

The second bit of perspective I have gained is this: not having a "default" group of pals has challenged me to look more outside of myself. No lie, I was most definitely richly, RICHLY blessed in my high school years to have an amazing, decently large group of strong Christian friends who encouraged me and loved me and also loved to have all kinds of good, clean, fun. I was so blessed, and those friendships continue to grow and deepen and bless, encourage, and challenge me. But not having that in college has really forced me to be the one reaching out. The one who becomes intentional about letting people know I want to get to know them, to hear their story, to spend time with them and love them for who they are. I struggled last semester with feeling super-down about myself because I felt like no one really cared about getting to know me. Well, God has really challenged me this semester to bet the one to make the first step. To neglect my own self-awareness, to abandon my fear of rejection, and to stop wallowing in a ditch of self-pity. He has challenged me to focus more on the other person- to just reach out and trust Him to do the rest.

That being said, I have been slightly overwhelmed by the response. It has been extremely positive. I have contacted people who I know by face or name but want to get to know better, and to my pleasant surprise, they want to get to know me, too!

So yes- the LORD has been teaching me to rest in who He says I am, and to be content with what He has given me at all times. He knows me better than I know myself, and He has always been faithful and sufficient for me- always. He is my portion- and He provides my "daily bread" in more ways than one each and every day. He is so good- all the time!