Weekend Thoughts

I've been processing a lot this weekend, or at least it feels that way. I have learned a lot about leadership and community this year. I have learned that leadership does come at a personal cost. It will always be at some personal cost to have a public, servant role. I have determined that for better or for worse, you can never please anyone in the world. And sometimes your leadership puts in you in a place where even if you are as neutral as is humanly possible, people may still disagree with you. And that is okay. I have also learned that whether it is leadership within a Christian ministry realm or not, I so desperately need God to guide me throughout my leadership roles and in my interactions with others. I cannot do it alone- I am so in need of His grace and wisdom. There have been times this year when I have literally or figuratively thrown up my hands, exasperated and frustrated and not knowing what to do. And God has been there- given me the words, the patience, the grace, the wisdom, when I thought I had had enough and did not have anything left to give.
So much of this has been through leading in a community setting: through the house I live in and through spiritual leadership. It is very difficult to lead a community of people. More difficult than I thought. I have found that we get out of community what we invest. Those who are willing to lay aside their previous assumptions, habits, and ways have gained the most out of not a perfect, but a fulfilling and rich community experience. Those who are not ready to do that quite yet have had more of a difficult experience. I think this is helpful to think about. When we critique a community we are a part of, that we do not feel fulfilled by, we need to ask ourselves: What are the expectations I may be putting on this community? I think it is helpful to examine ourselves first. What have we been bringing? Are we being open to all God may have for us? Are we loving others or demanding our own way?
Let's not be so quick to blame others and structures with a pointed finger. Let us first examine our own hearts and invest with renewed energy and passion into the communities God has called us to for this season.