Weary...Inspired...

Today I am wistful. I want to be inspired. I want to be moved by the extraordinary. My brain gets sucked into busy-ness so easily, and I want new energy to pump through my veins. I am weary a little bit inside:
weary of the world
weary of growing up
weary of the same-old
weary of divisions
weary of distances and roadblocks that seem insurmountable

And yet I have also realized: I am a dreamer at heart.
I love to imagine possibilities. It excites me that the abstract can become reality, as tangible as the grasp of a handshake or the pulling embrace of a hug. I don't want to be a weary traveler, but rather one who wears the spiritual spectacles and finds the treasure trove of joy in the midst of a despairing world, one who is able to dance in the sheer awe of this fragile life instead of being weighed down with heavy burdens. I want to defy my fears, overcome my insecurities, and grab life with both hands.

It occurs to me that perhaps instead of grabbing life with my own two hands, I should grasp tightly the hands of my Father.

He promises to exchange my weariness (unfairly, should I add) for better.

[He has sent me to] provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.
{Isaiah 61:3}