The Bondage of Insecurity

Lately, I have been thinking and reflecting on the topic of insecurities. Through a conversation with a friend, I was able to finally identify a struggle of mine that deals with insecurity. As I saw how monumental this discovery was, I began to see how this insecurity colors my life and reaches into many different areas. It almost shocked me; I should have seen this one coming. All the clues were there, and finally identifying this major insecurity actually made a lot of sense when I considered myself, my struggles, and things that I have always felt but never quite been able to pinpoint.

I believe that our insecurites weigh us down. They sidle easily into the category of idols, and become something controlling our actions, dictating our thoughts, and thus becoming the driving force behind our lives. This is clearly unhealthy, and insecurites, like fears, make a bad god.

I have been able to see now how much I struggle with insecurity in my life. Like many girls, I have battled insecurity about my body. How can I make peace with my body, one that God has lovingly created? Some of my insecurities are fueled by an acceptance I tend to glean from relationships in my life, making again, a bad, bad god. And I struggle with insecurity about people's acceptance and opinion of me. These are so often the things governing my life, my coutenance, even my feelings (which I also allow to govern my days and my interactions). I have come to realize that I DO have a choice. I DO have a choice, to believe the truth my Father hands down to me, and hide it in my heart, and let it color my life and thoughts and actions. I know this is what He says, when He talks about peace literally (in the Greek) governing our hearts. I must choose to let Christ rule, to let the peace that comes from Christ rule. Take every thought captive. Guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. I do have a choice, friends. We all do.

I feel as if I am just beginning this battle of trying to live a life governed by the LORD and not the insecurities that have both haunted me and clouded my life for so long. I am grateful that God promises to never leave us or forsake us, that He walks with us in our trials and pains as no one else can, seeing as He willingly became all that for love of us as He walked a path leading to the cross. More and more, I am able to see that my weaknesses only make Him stronger. Fellow sojourners, I encourage you to search out your own insecurities. And do not be afraid to speak them out loud. To admit them to yourself. I know that there is such light in the truth, and being truthful about the depth and even ugliness of your insecurities is crucial for the LORD to work full and deep healing in all of our hearts. But do not let yourself be discouraged; instead cling to the LORD and His goodness. I will be trying hard to do the same.